If someone in a store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas .

If you've worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you probably live in Texas .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you most likely live in Texas .

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Ft. Worth for the weekend, you probably live in Texas .

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas .

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas .

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas .

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas .

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Texas .

If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Texas .

If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your Texas friends and others, you definitely live in Texas .